In the past I would have referred to myself as someone who hates math, or is terrible at it. My favorite question to ask adults as a young teen was whether or not we really NEEDED to learn math to survive as an adult. I was decent as a student of math until Algebra in middle school. I realize now that there was a major accumulation of extremely hard life changes happening at this time. I only recently came to understand that this time was also when I experienced a lot of stuck energy and blocks in my Throat Chakra. I was diagnosed with TMJ which was a direction manifestation of this. Anyways, I have been thinking that along with the hardships I was experiencing, when math became harder to understand, I felt as if I was a failure in yet one more aspect. In turn that created a lot of frustration which definitely manifested into typical teenage anger.
When math got too tough for me, I gave up. I allowed my anger to speak for me when I said “I don’t care about math so who cares if I am bad at it.” The same approach had been working in other areas of my life, at least where my ego needed to be protected. If I didn’t care, then I was cool and in a way above the things not going well for me. As long as I didn’t care, I was the one in control of the relationship I had with math. It’s taken me almost 20 years to remove that shield and let myself be vulnerable again.
At the age of 31, numbers bombarded their way back into my life through Angel Numbers and Numerology. I even believe I was a master of Numerology in a past life. You see numbers are a universal language, they are in everything that exists around us. They relate directly to energy in so many different ways. Even going back to the historic use of 3 or the Holy Trinity – numbers have always been there whether we payed attention or not. So how is it, as someone who is so connected to universe and the angelic realms, that I could have such a terrible relationship with math? And would I let that be the end of my story on the subject?
The short answer is no, I will not let that be the end of that story. The time came to take some required courses in college, so I am back in Algebra! Funny enough, the college placed me in Intermediate Algebra. I tried so hard on my 1st day, and after 4 hours of not being able to solve 2 problems, I did the responsible thing. I found an open class for Beginners Algebra, and I switched to that – so I can resume Intermediate Algebra next semester after refreshing my skills. Instead of giving up, I re-evaluated the situation and came up with a solution that would allow me to support my educational goal. It will be more work, but I can truly get the most out of the material by taking it at my own pace.
Lately I have been thinking about psychic attacks, and that it’s possible to be attacked before you even know your own strengths and abilities. As I look back at the past, some part of me wonders if I experienced psychic attacks as a way to keep me from Numerology. As a student who literally despised math, I never would have chosen to learn Numerology – and if it hadn’t been for the universe speaking so loudly to me, it almost didn’t happen at all. It’s definitely suspicious, the timing of how everything happened in my life. I may never know the truth, but this is more reason to take true control and re-write my own history. Today, I am someone who loves learning math and is Divinely supported by the numerical rhythm of the universe!
Until next time…Meet you there!